At A Loss
I feel a little lost lately. I don’t feel like myself. I knew something was wrong when I went shopping at Super Target yesterday and the only things I bought were food.
Yes, just food.
No cute little lamp for which I have no use.
No new rug to replace the perfect one I have now.
No new sheet set for my guest bed that never gets used.
Yesterday, I just bought what I needed: Two boxes of Good Friends cereal, Dole canned pineapple in its own juice, sundried tomato/basil pre-cooked chicken sausages, Craisins, and, of course, a case of PepsiOne.
The weird thing is that I attempted to tempt myself. I went walking throughout the store. I looked at things I didn’t need, I touched them. I browsed through the ill-made Isaac Mizrahi clothing line, looked at the Boots beauty products. I even bypassed the dollar spot. Jesus, I can always find something I don’t need at the dollar spot.
But I got nothin’. Nada. Zippo. I didn’t even buy any extra Extra gum.
It was like I had a 21-year old drunk man wearing a tight white tank top, boxers and with some not-so-meaningful tattoo on his well-toned bicep lying in my bed waiting, and I chose to sleep on the couch.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Suddenly, I feel like I need anything.
I tried going to Nordstrom.com last night and before I had gone three-clicks in, I was back to 9News.com checking the weather.
The weather? Since when have I cared about the weather?
I even spent some time on BMWusa.com and it was like going to the zoo – cool to look at, but nothing I wanted to bring home.
Weird.
I hope this thing passes whatever it is. I have been very sick lately, and maybe this is some weird side-effect of bronchitis. Maybe it’s that new Sudafed PE that I’ve been taking that can’t be made into methamphetamines because maybe it’s already methamphetamines and its making me think that what I already have in my life is enough.
Obviously I’m not well. I feel sated and I have no idea what to do with myself.
- A
Yes, just food.
No cute little lamp for which I have no use.
No new rug to replace the perfect one I have now.
No new sheet set for my guest bed that never gets used.
Yesterday, I just bought what I needed: Two boxes of Good Friends cereal, Dole canned pineapple in its own juice, sundried tomato/basil pre-cooked chicken sausages, Craisins, and, of course, a case of PepsiOne.
The weird thing is that I attempted to tempt myself. I went walking throughout the store. I looked at things I didn’t need, I touched them. I browsed through the ill-made Isaac Mizrahi clothing line, looked at the Boots beauty products. I even bypassed the dollar spot. Jesus, I can always find something I don’t need at the dollar spot.
But I got nothin’. Nada. Zippo. I didn’t even buy any extra Extra gum.
It was like I had a 21-year old drunk man wearing a tight white tank top, boxers and with some not-so-meaningful tattoo on his well-toned bicep lying in my bed waiting, and I chose to sleep on the couch.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Suddenly, I feel like I need anything.
I tried going to Nordstrom.com last night and before I had gone three-clicks in, I was back to 9News.com checking the weather.
The weather? Since when have I cared about the weather?
I even spent some time on BMWusa.com and it was like going to the zoo – cool to look at, but nothing I wanted to bring home.
Weird.
I hope this thing passes whatever it is. I have been very sick lately, and maybe this is some weird side-effect of bronchitis. Maybe it’s that new Sudafed PE that I’ve been taking that can’t be made into methamphetamines because maybe it’s already methamphetamines and its making me think that what I already have in my life is enough.
Obviously I’m not well. I feel sated and I have no idea what to do with myself.
- A
posted by Ashley at 7:13 AM
1 comments
