Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Cloudy Skies.

Last week I met my soul mate. I was on a flight from Denver to Chicago, and suddenly this tall and beautiful man appeared carrying a small drink and burrito. In right his hand he was carrying “The Economist”, and on his left hand there was no ring. When he told me not to drink his soda while I held it for him as he sat down, I knew that he was something special.

For the next two hours, we spoke like we had known each other forever. I was actually able to be myself – you know, obnoxious, sarcastic and able to talk about as much porn as I wanted. We talked about our families, our dreams, our lives – everything.

Had we been on our way to Vegas, I am sure we would have gotten married. Instead, we were on our way to Chicago and late-night chapels were not an option. At the end of our flight, he dropped me off at my hotel, my business card in his hand, and without me even asking, promised to call.

I never heard from him.

What the fuck?

Since then, I’ve told the story to a few people. My friend Andy told me that Paul (that’s the fucker’s name) and I had suffered from some “airplane moment” where we connected because we were miles above the earth. I tried Googling “airplane love”, “airplane chemistry”, and “stranger chemistry”. I found nothing relevant except a bunch of stuff about the band Jefferson Airplane (now the aptly named “Jefferson Starship”). I don’t believe Andy that a pressurized cabin is enough to create that kind of connection. We weren’t even drinking.

I am simply at a loss as to what happened. Paul and I did get a long. I could feel the attraction. I liked this man and he liked me.

And this is exactly why I don’t date and I prefer to shop. This kind of bullshit pisses me off. In the world of shopping, if you find something that fits, that you like, and is the right price, YOU BUY IT. You don’t pick it up and travel around the store for a while, then set it back down. Why would you do something so stupid? In shopping, when you’ve found what you’re looking for, you buy it.

Which leads me to this: Maybe I wasn’t what he was looking for. Maybe he was just going through the motions so he could join the Mile High Club (he didn't join). I mean, he did invite me back to his place (yeah, I am going to go to your apartment after meeting you on the airplane.). But I felt it was more than sex that he wanted. I know what it feels like for a man to just want to stick it in me – but this felt like something more than just some random sticking. I knew he wanted to stick it in me, but I think he also would have made me breakfast and wanted to know my middle name.

I felt like he and I were shopping at Target for like two hours. We had lingered over the pickle choices, we had bought milk, and had gotten enough groceries for the next week so I could make my famous tomato soup. Then while standing in line with our perishables, he walked away.

I just don’t understand. And this isn’t the first time this has happened. I feel like I am always with the guy that just as we get to the part where you pony up the Visa, POOF! He’s gone. And I am left with the damn bill.

So what makes a man buy? Should I hide the milk so he has to really look for it? Should I be on sale and then offer him an additonal 10% off? Should I be the only one left on the rack in his size and color?

Input and thoughts welcomed because I got nuthin’ and until I figure this out, I am going back to Nordstrom where it’s safe.

- A

3 Comments:

Blogger Pat Angello said...

That's very odd. We all know how fun and sweet (cough) you can be, but that's just uncalled for. Unfortunately, when you finally meet the guy who doesn't play these stupid games, then you know you're, well, done. Do you really want to hear from him NOW? How long has it been? Did you get any contact info for him?

I wish I could tell you how to avoid this happening again, but I can't. Unfortunately most men are complete assholes, present party excluded.

So, if you find out he's married and you get an address, I'll help with the card and flowers from the "other woman" for ya!

Monday, April 10, 2006 10:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(previously submitted this comment to the wrong posting - at my age I can't seem to make the adjustment to this new digital world)


Biewer - what kind of a name is that for a dog? Sounds like someone too drunk to say Budweiser.

"Hey, g'me a Biewer... an' s'me more peenutz..."

And, since when do you make tomato soup?


Affectionately yours,

Edna Welthorpe (Mrs.)

cockapoos.rule@yahoo.com

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 12:54:00 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

Dearest (Mrs.) Edna Welthorpe,

Thank you for your creative feedback, albeit originally on the wrong entry.

I appreciate your patronage and look forward to more random comments in the future.

Sincerely,

(Ms.) Ashley Vinson

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 11:00:00 AM  

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